03-19-2004 - 7:01 p.m.
This morning I found out that one of my co-worker's had a fire in her house last night. She lost everything, and apparently burned her hands up. Thankfully though, she got out safely. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her all day. I mean, I've seen stories like this a billion times on the news, but this time it's different. This is someone I see every single day. Yesterday when I saw her, everything was fine. Now, she's homeless. She has no clothes. She has no keepsakes, no pictures of family and friends. She literally has to start all over. I honestly wanted to kiss the ground when I walked into my house tonight. Count your blessings, kids. For real.
***
My parents left this morning for a trip to New Orleans, leaving me and my 81 year old grandfather to fend for ourselves. It was kind of funny last night to see my mom totally stressing over leaving us "home alone". She seriously forgets that I'm a 22 year old fully functioning self sufficient adult. Yeah, I'm a little flaky at times but I can get through life just fine. For example, there's no need for a full hands-on instrucional demonstration of how to use the dishwasher. Sure, I never use it, but I really can figure it out. The dial is fucking labeled for God's sake. I have to admit that so far the peace and quiet is nice, but there are a few major downsides to this whole ordeal.
1. I have to go grocery shopping. AND my mom didn't even leave a list!!! Apparently, I'm supposed to figure out what the hell we need. Then, I have to go to the much dredded supermarket, which junior year of college was the cause of one too many panic attacks. I just get overwhelemed in those places. I feel like I'm surrounded by soccer moms who can name every product in every single aisle with their eyes closed and I'm just like "ummmm... where do I begin?" The big mystery is, my mom left $80 for groceries. I was thinking I'd go buy milk or something, but judging by the amount she left I guess I'm supposed to set my sights a little higher. Needless to say, this should be interesting.
2. The senior citizen meal schedule is just outta control, and I'm going to have to follow it for the next 5 days. My grandfather has this thing for eating out in restaurants- he's constantly offering to go out and eat even though my mom cooks every night. He jumps at every opportunity to eat out. I think it was 3 days ago when he asked me where we could go for dinner tonight. Jesus Christ, in 3 days I could have a stomache virus and not even want to eat! Thankfully, I got out of the restaurant thing tonight by saying I'd be home late (he's an early bird, as all seniors are) but I'm locked in for tomorrow night already (well, afternoon if we go by his schedule!). I just can't stand eating out. First of all, I wind up eating way too much crap when I'm in a restaurant. And, they never quite make it the way you like it best. But, I gotta suck it up cause I'm definitely about to see many restaurant meals the next few days.
3. I had to drive a fucking pickup truck!!! I dropped off my car last night for all this recall nonsense to be done at the dealership. I figured I'd get to buzz around in my mom's Blazer today, but NO. My parents fucking took the Blazer and left behind my Dad's pickup truck! First off, why the fuck does someone in my family own a pickup truck? Are we in construction and no one told me? Are we renovating our property into a farm? Do we wave around confederate flags and have no teeth??? And the best part is, he doesn't use the truck for any sort of work or hauling or whatever it is you're supposed to do with it. It's one of those nice big shiny pickup trucks with a leather cover over the bed so that nothing gets in it. It's one of those "I'm a cool manly man but I really have no use for this thing" trucks. And this is what I had to drive to work today! I seriously wanted to crawl into a hole and die. And the best part is, I have no one to give me a ride to pick up my car until tomorrow afternoon when my sister comes. So... if I want to leave the house at all in the next 24 hours I gotta do it hick style. I seriously think I'm not going to go out tonight solely based on my available transportation. Can you believe I used to complain about driving around in crappy old Pontiac? I'd fucking pay to be seen in that thing now that I've experienced this other option!
***
Wednesday while I was on the treadmill at the gym I caught an amazing episode of Oprah. It was AJ from the Backstreet Boys talking about overcoming his alcohol and drug addictions. Apparently when he went to rehab for being an alcoholic he really went because he was additionally a coke-head and a prescription drug addict. They just kinda kept that part quiet at the time because, I mean, he was after all a Backstreet Boy. Hearing him tell his story was just really inspiring. Yes, I've been inspired by BSB, is that too much to admit publicly? It's just awesome to see someone find the inner strength necessary to make such a drastic life change before it's too late. He could've easily wound up dead or broke or severely depressed, among countless other things. But he dug himself out of the grave he had created in enough time to realize there was lots more about life to enjoy. It was also really touching when Oprah surprised him by bringing out all the members of Backstreet and they all talked about how they confronted him about his problem and how his addiction and subsequent recovery affected all of them. I think this episode was a repeat, because I remember reading awhile back that Backstreet had decided to make another album together after being reuinted on Oprah. Seriously though, despite my deep 'N Sync roots I will go out and buy their new album the day it drops whether it's the greatest album or it sucks ass. That's how much I was inspired by their story on Oprah. Call me sad, if you will.
The show, of course, inspired me to bust out my copy of Backstreet Boys The Hits- Chapter One and I've been rocking out ever since. So, I leave you today with my favorite BSB song ever... (go ahead, laugh)
There's not a day that passes by
I don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's not too late to change your mind
So take my hand, don't say goodbye
I will love you more than that
I won't say those words, then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that...
