05-17-2004 - 9:15 p.m.
Well that whole "patience" kick lasted like a day, and I'm totally back where I started screaming at the top of my lungs WHAT THE FUCK DO GUYS WANT????
I'm never fucking good enough just the way I am, and I suppose this is something I'm just gonna have to learn to deal with, unless of course I become a contestant on The Swan.
The past week was just hell times a million. Everything that happened was so depressing, so frustrating or just downright so fucking sucky I can't even think of a word to accurately describe it. I did however, get to cap off the week with a much needed night out with Jane and Kellie on Saturday. Dancing and laughing and being stupid with those girls will never get old or dull. I met some creepy hairy chested man from Italy who managed to totally diss my looks while at the same time trying to tell me he thought I was attractive. Fucking foreigners!!! Of course, me being the drunken fool, I decided to pick up the phone at 3:00 in the morning while still out at the bar and give my "I'm being patient for him" boy a ring. Making it worse was the fact that I didn't expect for the call to go through since his cell phone has been acting up. So, when the voicemail came on I totally panicked and was all like um... uh... yeah... HEY!!! Needless to say, it was kinda weird when he called me Sunday afternoon and was like "What the hell were you doing last night???" Then he drops the bomb... "So... why am I so shady?" Stupid me with the gigantic mouth felt the need to be all like Where's your shady friend tonight? That kid is so fucking shady! to one of his best friends, and did I really think this rampage wouldn't get back to him??? All I gotta to say is STUPID.
Things were looking up for about half a second a couple of weeks ago. Now, I'm so far buried under a pile of shit that I'm not sure how the fuck I could possibly manage to crawl out.
