09-16-2004 - 9:57 a.m.
So, in my last entry I detailed how Steve is the biggest asshole on the planet. But now, I must claim the prize for myself.
I really hate myself for doing this. You all probably will too.
Saturday was the annual bike-a-thon where you start at 9 in the morning and bike around to different bars all day drinking mass quantities of beer. At our third stop of the day, we ran into Steve and his crew, which included his super cutie friend Bob. I went over to wish Steve a happy birthday (he had turned 25 the day before) and he just kinda said thanks and walked off. So, I wound up talking to Bob for most of the time.
At the next bar, we once again found their crew. I talked to all of Steve's friends (mostly Bob) but Steve didn't even really acknowledge the fact that I was there. I started getting a little flirtatious with Bob (ok, I was trashed at this point) and gave him shit for never calling me. Then, it was on to the next bar.
Once again, we were hanging out with Steve and his friends, but somehow Kellie and I had become separated from our whole group and it was just the two of us and all of them. Of course, once again, all his friends were talking to me and he didn't have 2 words to say. And of course, I chatted up Bob extensively.
Then, the scandal erupted.
Things are a little fuzzy at this point, but I remember Kellie and I walking towards the bathrooms and seeing Steve and Bob and a few more of their friends (I have no clue which ones) standing there talking to people. So, we stopped to chat again. And of course Bob was the one to talk to us, not Steve. Somehow, kissing came up in the conversation, and it almost became a sort of 7th grade dare type of situation. I remember looking over my shoulder and seeing Steve standing about 3 feet away from me, and then... I was making out with Bob. Yep, right there, in broad daylight, in front of EVERYONE but most importantly, right in front of Steve. By the time it was over, Steve had walked away.
At that point, our whole group was ready to leave, so we went out to the parking lot and got on our bikes. As luck would have it, Steve and his whole group (which had to have been at least 30 people, mind you) were all standing right there and we had to ride by them. As we did, Steve just started flipping out yelling at me. "What's up with that? Making out with my friend right in front of me??? That's it! It's OVER! No more sleeping over my house!"
Ok, first off, WHAT exactly is over? The last time we had spoken (the weekend before) he had told me that my "act" gets really old and had stormed off. Not to mention the fact that the last time we had hooked up had been like weeks ago. I had already assumed that it was over.
Of course, the drama escalated with him calling me like a half hour later to yell some more. Needless to say, he was super pissed off. But, I had to point out to him that I had finally gotten his attention, which is all I had wanted all along. He had finally called me of his own free will and not for a booty call, hadn't he???
Anyways, once some of the alcohol wore off I got pretty depressed about the whole thing. At the time it had seemed like a good idea (after all, I had known full well he was standing right there) but later on I realized that I had hurt someone I actually care alot about. And the funny thing is, I don't thing I realized that I cared so much until I went and fucked it all up.
On Sunday I felt like total and complete shit, and I ran into his friend Brian who hadn't been present for the debacle but had gotten a play by play moments later via phone. I told Brian how awful I felt and how all I wanted to do was cry, and he assured me that it wasn't something to cry over. So then, I asked "Does everyone hate me?" And the not-too-optimistic response that I recieved was "Well... I haven't talked to Steve yet."
At work on Monday, I talked to my friend Craig about the situation and he gave me a male perspective on things. I didn't understand why Steve was so pissed, but now I totally get it. Craig said that I embarrassed him in front of his friends. For all your friends to see the girl you had been hooking up with making out with another guy is a major blow to the ego. See? Aren't I the world's biggest asshole???
I called Steve on Sunday night and left him a message, but of course I haven't heard back from him. My plan is to give it one more shot today, and if he chooses not to accept my apology, well then I'm gonna just have to find a way to be movin on.
Adding to the stress this week, I had to undergo a little medical test/procedure on Tuesday, which thankfully has finally cleared up all my health issues. I'm now officially diagnosed and taking medication (probably for the rest of my life, but I guess you can't win em all) so that's a relief. I'm optimistic that if I was able to resolve that "crisis" this week, maybe I can also resolve my Steve crisis as well.
Wish me luck.
