1-14-2005 - 9:38 p.m.
"You'll never make the perfect wife."
Out of the context of the conversation, that statement is offensive. Within the context of the conversation, it's offensive on a multitude of levels.
And this one came from a friend, someone I respect and adore. I was so hurt by what he said that I just had to walk away.
What offended me so much?
First, the fact that my religion makes me unable to be a "perfect" person. So what if people have different religious beliefs??? It's basically just a difference in traditions. I can't help that my ancestors practiced a certain religion that happens to be different from yours and it got passed through the generations. I don't think less of people based on religion, and I certainly don't want people thinking less of me based on mine.
Second, the conversation implied that guys my age are searching for girls that are "wife" material. There's apparently a batch of girls you marry, and a batch you don't. What exactly makes someone a "wife"??? If I started wearing nuetral pantsuits from Ann Taylor, cut my hair in a bob and made homemade beef stroganoff would I suddenly become part of this wife club? (Ugh, I hope it doesn't come down to that.) I can't cook and I don't clean, so apparently nobody's gonna want me.
Finally, it just scared me that at the age of 23 I've already been branded un-marry-able. Here I thought I was being judged individually, but really it's about what category I fit into. And if I'm not marriage material, what am I? Am I destined to be the old lady next door with 14 cats???
Lately I just feel like shit. All I want to do is sleep. And if I'm not sleeping I just want to cry. And I hate the fact that this is a three day weekend. At least work gives me something to take my mind off of things. For 7 hours a day, all is right in the world. Then 3:30 rolls around and I just want to crawl in a hole.
What the fuck?
